Interview with Rock PART DEUX
L’il Phoenix: Welcome back everybody. Today is the continuation of my interview with someone who has been called many things, including “Rokuro Makube,” “Rock,” “the most evil human being in the world,” “you bastard,” and “that other kid who’s not as sweet and innocent as Ken’ichi.”
Phoenix: He has also been called “The Boy of 100 Faces.”
Phoenix: ?_? What!? That’s not me!!! I’M me!!! That’s an imposter!
*Rock steps out of his disguise, there is much applause*
Phoenix: Cross-dressing can be easily misconstrued these days.
Rock: No one asked you.
Ookaaay….. So, today we’re here to discuss your interesting career.
As long as you promise not to pull a Dr. Phil on me and bring out a bunch of human rights and environmental activists later on.
Wasn’t planning on it. So, anyway, Rock, when did you first become an extortion and disguise artist, and why?
Well, I went to a private school with a bunch of bratty rich kids.
I can understand that, I suppose. Was it difficult for a middle schooler to pull it off?
Of course not, it was the opposite. They never suspect someone as innocent-looking as me. Watch this. *takes off sunglasses* ……..I kill puppies for fun.
Audience members: Awwww, he wouldn’t hurt a fly!
Amazing. So, where did you learn to make yourself into a plausible woman?
No comment. But every good spy and disguise artist should be able to pull off the opposite gender!
I have here an anonymous tip that you took compromising photos of yourself dressed as a certain ex-girlfriend and….posted them around her workplace?
Serves her right for trying to break up with me!
Sources say that you broke up with her.
My mother made me.
It says here a computer told you to do it.
Are you saying a computer can’t be a mother? Oh, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, L’IL PHOENIX is an insensitive fictional character who HATES COMPUTERS!
That’s not true and you know it. NEXT QUESTION! You tried…to kill your own artist?!
Look, I think you’ll agree with me that the old man was getting a little too cocky, inserting himself into his comics and not even bothering to change the name that time! And not only that, he was having adventures and making himself cool! He needed to get back to reality. So what if I tried to help him get there? Weren’t we supposed to be discussing ME, not all this malicious GOSSIP and LIES about what I’ve done?
Errr…of course….It says on your website that you headed an organization devoted to making the world a better place. What kinds of things did you do?
Well, we…..wanted to promote freedom of expression. *evil smile*
Voice from the audience: LIES!
Hey, keep it down, this isn’t Jerry Springer!
*Hinotori flies out of the audience*
*gasp* 0.0 Hinotoriiii!!!!
Hinotori: This boy is lying to all of you, he has done nothing but evil.
I think that Hinotori here is misleading all of you! Anyone can make someone else look bad by using broad subjective terms like “evil.” You have NO IDEA what this bird has done to me. And besides….why are you trusting a bird? Do you believe everything a PARROT tells you? No.
Can’t we just work out our differences here?
Okay, so there was no one left in the world but me and this one guy who’s a wuss and his pet, right? Like it’s THAT HARD to give immortality to ONE MORE person. NOOOO, miss high-and-mighty-firebird here has to go and PASS ME BY for this wimp. That’s just….cold.
You ran away when everyone was dying in nuclear war! You’re selfish!
Selfish? Or maybe just interested in keeping the human race alive? Hmm?
L’il Phoenix: This is intense!
Did you ever think that maybe what’s-his-name wanted a FRIEND for all those milennia, eh? I guess you thought that pet of his would be enough?
Let’s talk about that “world-improving organization” of yours, boy, or should I say the VAMPIRE REVOLUTION, trying to restore mankind to a state of nature?
We were protecting freedom of speech and the pursuit of happiness!
If letting people kill each other makes you happy!
Hehhehe, saves me some work.
Audience: BOOOOO!
Who’s a hypocrite? HINOTORI! Look I have photos of her LITTERING!
Audience: *GASP*
*chair-throwing and cursing commences. Burly samurai bodyguards enter to break up the fight*
We’ll continue this another time…..*hides under table*
—-cut to commercials—-
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